When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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