Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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