So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
