Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
