How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
