I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
