2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
