Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize