Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
