apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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