I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
