Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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