I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
