Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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