I think I won the penis lottery.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
