Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
