11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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