Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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