My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
