New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
