I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I bet he comes in French.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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