are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
