Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize