For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
