problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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