i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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