Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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