I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize