I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
