dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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