My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
