You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
