id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
try to milk me bitch
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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