another moral hangover. fuck.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
