His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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