we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
