We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
