Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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