If i come over, it means nothing
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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