so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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