if you like me you must not know who I am
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
