i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize