she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize