There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
handjob tips. give me some.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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