I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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