You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
