My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
