i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
