Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Even my vagina gasped.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize