Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
