what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
