conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
