No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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