I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
