We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize