you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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