You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
