I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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