After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize