just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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