how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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