so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
