I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Will exercising make me less horny?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
