I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
